05 January 2010

Overdue Bile

As we’ve become accustomed to at this time of the year, there is a basic need to look back over the past year and assess all of the things that have happened. Personally, the pitch and yaw of my life has finally settled down, I’ve managed to Forrest Gump my way into a happy place, and I’ve found peace.

But I gotta ask, What the Fuck is happening to my Republic?

I look around and see something out of 1984, or Atlas Shrugged, or V for Vendetta. It’s heartbreaking, really. And as I’ve sat here in a Menkenesque gluttony, laughing at the absurdity of the manner in which I see the popular media performing fellatio on our president, I’ve said nothing. There has been a fatalistic aspect to this passivity which bothers me, as I recall beginning these missives back during the Clinton administration, when I was subjected to the rule of a man who was quite possibly even more ineffective than the current thief who occupies the house on Pennsylvania Ave…(but in a less malignant way, I think.) Perhaps the idealism of my early thirties, the spark of light and reason that burned so brightly, and seemed so attainable, has merely been recognized for what it actually is: the fire of reality burning my hope in the landfill of middle age.

Or maybe it’s the overwhelming sense that the downfall of this Republic has truly gained the terminal velocity that I’ve been on about for awhile in this space. That aspect of this entire fuck-all is what really disturbs me, and has kept me in defilade these past few months. This was all foreseeable, avoidable, and could have been fixed.

St. Michael of Ann Arbor asked me just the other day if I felt somewhat vindicated since so much of what I’ve been predicting these past years is largely coming to pass. Vindication is the wrong word, I think. It feels more like when you see one of your kids, or a junior Marine, about to make a mistake. One that you KNOW will result in something very bad. You stomp your foot, you clear your throat, you really, really try to explain things the way they are. You coach and mentor until you get to that place that my boss identified to me about three years ago…”Larry, I can’t do anything more to help this guy out than stick my arm up his ass and make his mouth move for him”…and yet that individual still decides to take the dumb road. Well folks, I reached that point, with regards to these United States about 10 months ago. And I decided to adhere to the one and only commandment that we as Coyotes talk about all the time: “Never care MORE about the training than the Marines who are going through the exercise”. And so, I’ve been mute as this society continues to completely ignore those things that will eventually make them slaves. I will do so no longer. I can’t. It’s in me, and it’s gotta come out of me.

So, as Maude Lebowski would say, “Okay Jeffrey, let's get down to cases”.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s like rubbernecking at an accident on the freeway. It’s like staring at a solar eclipse. It’s…

Volume Whatever
The Opening of the Seventh Seal…
Rights, real and imagined, Fiat Currency, and miscellaneous crankiness.

1) More Aristotle.
One of the gifts that was bestowed on this philosophical tradition that we’ve come to forget as a Western Society is the Aristotelian practice of breaking complex ideas into their most minute parts. This allows us to understand concepts in their most basic form, and make informed decisions as to whether or not we agree with a given tenet that is handed to us by a sycophantic mouthpiece of a corrupt system, at the behest of a man who would take our liberty, our property, and potentially, our life. Definitions are important in discussions such as these, for they give us a common understanding of what exactly is at stake in agreeing or disagreeing with whomever is running their man-pleasers. Please indulge me, as we run through a few basic tenets, with regards to what is currently being offered up by those who call themselves your “Government”.

a. Right-That object or state of being which a person is entitled to, that by its very existence carries with it a concomitant duty for every other person to provide. So, let’s review. If you have a right to speak, then I have a duty to allow you to do so without hassling you about the content of your speech. If you have the right to property, then I have the moral obligation not to steal, break, or otherwise fuck with your stuff. If you have the right of liberty, then I have a moral obligation to not wrongfully imprison you, detain you, or bring you along on a blind double date with my girlfriend and her cougar friend who is three-sheets after two martinis and begins either describing how she’ll dismember you if you are a player, or sits in your lap and sticks her tongue in your ear deeply enough to taste what you’re thinking. If you have a right to a job, then I have a duty to pay someone to hire you. If you have a right to a house, then I have an obligation to give you money to pay for it.

[STOMP, STOMP, STOMP] If I have a right to health care, then you have an obligation to finance the surgeries and various treatments that might be necessary to continue my life, even though my habits and behavior may not be acceptable to you. (We’ll come back to the implications of this in a minute.)

These last few “rights” that I’ve cited have a recurring cost that I’m not certain you are prepared to agree to. Beware when people start talking about “alternative rights”. FDR was an asshole, and a socialist, and this is known. Thank you.

b. The Government of the United States-This is defined very specifically in a document called the Constitution of the United States of America. There was very little left to the imagination. Of course, due to the fact that the government deals with “laws”, and a specific branch of the government is devoted to the interpretation of laws by judges, (see: H.L. Menken’s definition: “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”), the government is unfortunately, by design, subject to attracting lawyers to its employ. For lawyers, nothing is ever simple. Interpretation becomes problematic. “What did the framers REALLY mean?”, they ask. Hypothetical discussions result, and we are lured into this parallel universe of vagueness and flexibility when the answers to the fucking test are actually right there on the page.

Look people, the full rights and responsibilities of the FEDERAL legislature are outlined in article I of the Constitution, those of the FEDERAL executive branch appear in article II, and those of the FEDERAL judiciary are dealt with in article III. Questions? Refer to the 10th Amendment, where it details that ANY powers not delegated in this document are “reserved to the STATES respectively, or the PEOPLE”. It’s just that fucking simple. It’s all right there, isn’t it?

Well, here we are, 229 years after this document was ratified by the legislative bodies of the States that made up the country at that time, and we’re confused as to the ramifications of straying from that document, or attempting wholesale revision of it, by either ignoring it or allowing some pointy headed fool to interpret it in some vague way that allows him to remove whatever liberties he wants by judicial or legislative fiat, by citing that it is a “living document” that is “open to interpretation in the context of modern society”. People, that is nonsense on stilts. The definitions of Life, Liberty, or Property have not changed since we stood erect for the first time and scratched our arses. The technical definitions of the legislative, executive, and judicial branches have not changed for 229 fucking years. So what has changed, then?

What has changed is our expectations.

We look back at a natural disaster, such as Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and we see an expectation for the FEDERAL government (read: NATION of taxpayers) to provide recompense to city and state governments that were corrupt enough, and short sighted enough to not prepare for such a disaster…and a city and state full of voters/taxpayers who were willing to risk that short-sightedness.

We look at large banks, large lending establishments, and large automobile conglomerates who have failed, but have been given YOUR money by the FEDERAL government because they failed. Where is the expectation of punishment for poor business practices? What does this portend for small business owners (the heart and soul of local economies) who aren’t “too big to fail”? Why are the wealthiest failed entrepreneurs now expecting the government to take care of them?

We look at a health-care industry (it ain’t a system, people. It’s a fuckin’ industry…) that has been manipulated by tort to the point where the cost for ANY treatment is buffered by the factor that you might sue for malpractice. And so we’re seriously talking about giving the responsibility for providing that service to the FEDERAL government (read: NATION of taxpayers). Please re-read the paragraph above that defines “Right”. If we all agree to pay into this, then we accept two eventual outcomes: 1) we bear the responsibility of paying for Unclean’s healthcare, even though he has disgusting personal habits, and engages in pretty cool, but reasonably risky personal behavior; or 2) we, as a collective, mandate that if we must all pay into said healthcare plan, then all of us must stop engaging in habits not mutually agreed to, which are punishable by the government by either judicial action, or revocation of said health benefits.

Look, I love you guys, no shit. But I LIKE to smoke, drink, stay up late, eat red meat and foods high in cholesterol, drive fast, sneeze, and sit on the toilet for extensive lengths of time. I have nothing against the fact that most of you like to run marathons, abstain from Mother Liquor, go to sleep soon after dusk, eat a lot of green vegetables, and shit like horses. However, I’m not prepared to mandate via legislative fiat that you smoke a packaday, eat fried egg and bacon sammiches at two o’clock in the morning, or drink improbable amounts of whiskey. However, if this government agrees to this health care plan, our wonderfully free ability to engage in whatever conduct that we want to will be restricted in just such a way.

People, wake up. This government wants to control you in the most offensive way that the world has ever seen. While it is true that they also want to control how you buy things, perceive things, and interact with each other, they also want to control your simplest everyday functions. I did not see that they were given that responsibility in the Constitution, but they are actively working towards that…and nobody is talking about it. This should make you more than uncomfortable. This should make you angry. This should cause your heart to cry out at the manipulation that is being done to your country. This should cause you to wonder about what kind of country you are bequeathing to your children.

c. fi•at
Pronunciation: \ˈfē-ət, -ˌat, -ˌät; ˈfī-ət, -ˌat\
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, let it be done, 3d singular present subjunctive of fieri to become, be done
1 : a command or act of will that creates something without or as if without further effort

So we’ve dealt with several of the ways in which your liberty will be stripped from you (i.e.: the creation of new “rights” and the nationalization of the health care industry.) Now I’d like to introduce the other. Friends and neighbors, welcome to the discussion of Fiat Currency. It is a term that many have not become familiar with simply because no one has really talked about it. But it is the reality that we are currently burdened with. The truth is this: Richard Nixon took the United States currency off of the Gold Standard back in 1971. Prior to this, many countries fixed their exchange rates relative to the U.S. dollar. In exchange, the U.S. promised to fix the price of gold at $35 per ounce. Therefore, all currencies pegged to the dollar were stabilized by the value of the U.S. dollar’s relation to the price of gold. In 1970, the fucking french, headed by their head-cocksucker, Charles de Gaulle, dramatically reduced their dollar reserves. That and the U.S. expenditure as a result of the Vietnam War, caused Nixon to pull his little trick. Now, Tricky Dick did try to at least back the dollar with SOMETHING, so he took advantage of another little opportunity. He somehow got OPEC to agree to sell their oil exclusively with the use of the U.S. Dollar. (For more info, see this speech by Ron Paul to congress in 2006.) Think about that for a second. Anyone who wanted to buy oil since the early 1970’s had to first exchange their money for U.S. dollars before they bought a drop of oil. And that backed the dollar with something more tangible than the spending habits of my aunt Mildred and the ability of some guy without a job or legal tender to repay a 100K mortgage.

The other way in which we’ve managed to shore up the value of our currency was to sell portions of our government to anyone who had available currency. China has possessed mountains of ready cash for years, and they’ve bought up trillions of dollars worth of U.S. currency, along with any other country who had any capital since the 1970s.

Now before any of the above actions happened, way back on 23 December, 1913, the Federal Reserve Act was enacted by the United States Senate. This act called for the creation of a System that contained both private and public entities. There were to be at least eight, and no more than 12, private regional Federal reserve banks (12 were established) each with its own branches, board of directors and district boundaries (Sections 2, 3, and 4) and the System was to be headed by a seven member Federal Reserve Board made up of public officials appointed by the President (strengthened and renamed in 1935 as the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System with the Secretary of the Treasury and the Comptroller of the Currency dropped from the Board - Section 10). Also created as part of the Federal Reserve System was a 12 member Federal Advisory Committee (Section 12) and a single new United States currency, the Federal Reserve Note (Section 16).

Let’s go back to the rule book again, shall we? In article I, Section 10 of the Constitution of the United States of America, we find the following passage: “No state shall,…make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts…” The reason for this proscription is obvious, the Department of the Treasury issued nothing except gold and silver coin, which means that if the states offered coin of a different medium, then anyone crossing a state line would devalue what was in his pockets. But what happens when the Leviathan stops holding itself to the standards that it holds “all those under awe” to?

What happens is this: you end up with a coin that is backed only by an agreement with a foreign oil cartel and the good will of a communist government who has as much ability to influence the value of the dollar as the Federal Reserve Board of Governors itself. What would happen to this economy if the Chinese government asked us to buy back the currency that it has bought up over the years? What would happen if OPEC decided to stop dealing in U.S. coin? Does it bother any of you that this whole house of cards is held up by the fancy of two foreign affiliates who do not necessarily share our common vision of Lockean minimalist government? Would it surprise any of you if any of the policies or speaking points espoused by our government are not edited by these foreign affiliations before being enacted and/or spoken?

None of this is secret. It’s all out there in the public domain for any of you to peruse. Nobody talks about it because of fear. The fear that you and I may act in a way, vote in a way, buy in a way, speak in a way that would prejudice the positions of many very wealthy people who have sunk a whole lot of money into the continuation of this leaking vessel. These people want you to continue to bind yourself to this system of corruption. They can’t have you buying things of worth (i.e.: gold or silver) in an effort to shore up your continued existence at the expense of applying for loans which they can claim on their bottom line. At the expense of you not buying the current consumer item that is all the rage, and which finances their reckless addiction to a corrupt system. At the expense of them maintaining seats of inscrutable power that keep you paying ever-higher prices to consume the items which were created with the use of resources that were borrowed on the margin, using capital that is not backed by anything at all, based on an extra-constitutional system that has resulted in the dissolution of the way of life of an entire nation of producers through years of mismanagement and negligence.

Tyler was right. To our lasting consternation.

2) Apathy revisited
The short list of those things that I couldn’t care less about, if you spotted me two consonants and two vowels:

a. Tiger- Okay everyone, I’ll admit it. I slept with Tiger. It was in La Quinta two years ago. I was drunk. What can I say?

Let the poor bastard up, already. It’s not like he’s filling a public office or anything. Oh. I guess if that were true, this would be over already. Bottom line, the media loves to tear down anyone who actually does something…

Oh. Hold on a second. On one hand you’ve got the media. Which is run by people who don’t contribute agoddamnthing to anyone. What do they do? They WATCH stuff and then talk about it. A lot. Ad nauseum.

On the other hand, you’ve got someone who actually does a given thing better than any other human being alive or dead, and who has a personal breakdown of some sort.

So we should forget everything else and focus on the personal fuck-up, based on information pushed by someone who has only a stake in the fact that their “observation” sells copy?

How about this. How about I let that poor bastard try to clean all of this up, ignore the ignorant ‘tard who is reporting it, and continue to contribute to the stock of human dignity? People, the stock of human dignity is under siege right now. Paying attention to these worthless pieces of shit while ignoring the actual factors which will bring about our enslavement will only serve the ends of those who wish to hold the key to our bonds.

Do please focus.

b. The new prohibition- I have become very familiar recently with the aspect of society that has decided that my usage of the fifth food group (alcohol) is excessive. Fuck these people, and everyone who looks like them. To quote Menken (again) “A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.” Why? Because a prohibitionist is a busy body, concerned with making mankind better instead of dealing with the basic fact that he is still as full of shit as every other human being who has ever drawn free oxygen. These assholes are killing me, the MADDs, the people who don’t want me to speak impolitely to my dog or eat chicken because it was treated ignobly, the people who don’t want me to do anything but sit in front of my TV and watch the E! channel…at exactly what point did these people get the arrogance to assume that anybody gave a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut what they thought in the first place? I know that I have not called nor emailed nor even spoken to any one of you, or anyone else for that matter, and suggested that you stop doing just whatever the fuck you wanted to do.

It’s that right/duty thing again that I referred to above. I don’t have a right to tell you how to do a goddamn thing. You don’t have a duty to take any advice that I offer. We actually have the right to tell these people to go fuck themselves…and they do indeed have the corresponding duty to heed our admonishments. These people assume the opposite. They think that because they have reached such a level of shrillness in decrying whatever cause they’re involved in, that I have a corresponding moral obligation to listen to their advice and heed their recommendations.

Fuck that.

These assholes are almost exactly like the assholes in the previous paragraph. They stand on the sideline and bitch about something that I’m doing, but don’t actually produce a damn thing in the way of progress.

I swear to God, I’m going on-line immediately after I send this to you people, and I’m going to create a non-profit organization that seeks to reduce incidence of sweating. I’ll make up a ton of statistics about how the water vapor (which is actually on the EPAs list of hazardous material, as a component of green-house gas) which results from sweat is actually contributing to global warming (which has never been actually proven), how if we could just figure out a way to harness the power of alternative cooling we’d save billions of dollars, and tens of thousands of lives, annually.

The fact is this, people. Nobody extra has died this year because of booze than in any year before. Nor because of tobacco use. Nor because of the intake of red meat, fried chicken, or venison. Nor because of driving a large automobile. Anyone who claims so should reflect upon the fact that everything has it’s excess. It is just as vicious for me to abstain from something entirely, while shrilly bitching about your consumption of said item, as it is for you to consume too much of it and badly effect both you and those around you. There exists a “golden mean” where one should strive to take ALL things in moderation, for that is the path to virtue.

Wait. I’ve heard that before…


Aristotelian ethics. Hey! That guy is all over the place!

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands,
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
-Tool, Aenema

Immundus, ergo liquidius,